Superstitions exist for a reason. Maybe they’re even good for us. (Photo by Djalma Paiva Armelin from Pexels)

When my big brother was just old enough to drive, he took me to the Illinois State Fair, which was about two hours from where we lived then, and won me a rabbit’s foot at one of the midway games. I carried it on my belt loop, where it was surely a factor in my astonishing victory at the third grade spelling bee.

It’s not clear why we think rabbits bring us good luck. Some scholars say that ancient Celts believed that the time a rabbit spent underground gave it special communion with spirits there, though nobody explains why voles and groundhogs didn’t thus acquire a similar reputation. Others suggest that it’s the fecundity of the species — rabbits do a lot of a good thing, you know — that imbues them with the promise of prosperity by association.1

Yet it’s one of those superstitions that linger, even though we smart 21st century folks know that there’s no rational explanation for them. Why do we say “God bless you” when somebody sneezes? What’s with knocking on wood (or, if you’re Italian, touching steel)? Why do hotel elevator buttons skip from the 12th floor to the 14th, and who decided that there’s anything at all wrong with little black kitties? They’re too cute to be evil.

Maybe there’s something useful about superstitions, though. Can’t hurt, anyway, right? So, just briefly, I would like to assume the role of advisor to the president of the United States, and tell Joe Biden to get himself a crop of four-leaf clovers or a basket of acorns (good luck charms in Viking folklore), or maybe toss a bucket of salt over his shoulder. Because the guy is on a string of bad luck, and since all the rational means of reversing his course seem to be failing, now is the time for him to pull out all the stops.

So first day of next month, Mr. President, try this little superstition that supposedly helps the 30 days ahead go more smoothly: Before you even get out of bed, say aloud, “Bunny bunny, rabbit rabbit,” three times, quickly. Dr. Jill may be startled, but she’ll be fine; my wife does it to me, and you do not hear me complaining, do you? Nor, I might add, have I found myself at odds with both the liberal and the moderate wings of the Democratic party. Fingers crossed on that one.

What bad luck it is that a guy who ran over and over again for the presidency finally got the job in the middle of a pandemic. How unlucky that the president’s ambitious agenda hinges on the whim of a hod-carrier for the West Virginia mine owners, who got his outsized national role because the opposition party has relieved itself of any responsibility for governing and yielded its soul to a kleptocratic, mentally unhinged authoritarian. What kind of a bad break it is that the last president got to put three far-right ideologues on the Supreme Court, with a stated goal of turning around anything that wouldn’t be pleasing to our 18th-century forebears.

Biden’s so unlucky that he even gets slammed for things that aren’t in his control. Inflation and supply chain disruptions are global phenomena caused by the pandemic, but polls suggest that American voters are blaming old Joe. The disastrous Afghanistan pullout was set in motion by his predecessor — Biden actually delayed the withdrawal by months — but almost nobody remembers that. And crime is its own category of political disaster: The previous president took office claiming our cities were awash in violence, though crime rates had actually been falling for years, yet the rise of crime that began during his term is getting blamed on — guess who? — the guy now in the White House. Dude’s got a black cloud over his head, I’d say.

Joe Biden desperately needs some good luck just now. Yes, he steered a massive infrastructure bill through Congress, and it’s true that the economy grew last year by the fastest rate since 19842 — which was, remember, the year Ronald Reagan declared that it was “morning again in America.” But that’s not good enough. Americans want things to get better right now, though at least a quarter of them won’t lift a finger to help that happen by getting even a single dose of the Covid vaccine. A president’s party almost always loses seats in Congress the year after he takes office, and with Democratic margins in both houses razor-thin, Biden is looking toward even unhappier days ahead.

Unless he gets lucky. Like, he could use a Jim Jeffords moment right now. Jeffords, remember, was the three-term Republican senator from Vermont who left the party and declared himself an independent just after George W. Bush moved into the White House, a shift that turned control of the chamber over to Democrats. It’s bad luck for Biden that, say, Susan Collins has never displayed any such pangs of conscience, because she could protect voting rights and provide child care and cut pharmaceutical prices if she cared. Since that’s unlikely, maybe Biden needs a national crisis, though you wouldn’t ever actually wish for that. Still, Bush went from losing the popular vote in 2000 to an 84 percent approval rating in the aftermath of 9/11. We’re way too divided now for any such American cohesion, anyway — and Fox News wouldn’t ever let it occur, no matter the disaster, because its revenues rise only when its viewers are mad as hell.

So you see why I’ve come around to the idea that we need to embrace superstition. And, actually, there’s research suggesting that superstitions are good for us. A University of California marketing professor found that when facing a potentially risky decision, consumers choose a more risk-averse path on Friday the 13th than they would on other days.3 And three economists at the Chinese University of Hong Kong used the auction of vehicle license plates — which Hong Kong residents apparently often use to pick a plate based on a superstition — to conclude that “the value of superstitions is economically significant, which justifies their persistence in human civilization.”4 So superstitions keep us safer and make us richer. Isn’t that what most Americans expect their president to do for them?

It’s not as though the stakes aren’t high here. If Biden fails to catch wind in his sails, the Trump-infected Republican party will likely gain an upper hand, and continue its steps toward dismantling our democracy, one state at a time. The outrageous and ceaseless lies of Trump and the chaos he sowed worldwide will return, and America’s slide into political and governmental amorality will accelerate.

So let’s help Joe Biden get more lucky. Build him a horseshoe pit next to the Rose Garden, maybe. Drop some lucky pennies in his path that he can pick up. Give him the wishbone from the turkey at the next Biden clan supper in the White House, and make sure he pulls the long end. The man has had enough bad luck for a whole term already, so it’s bound to turn around soon, right? Knock wood.